Mel Johnson

End of Week 1 Thoughts

Thursday 8th Oct

Week 1 is now done and dusted and already the donations have surpassed what I thought was achievable! I am so very thankful for people's generosity and the beautiful words written about mum. It is a comfort to know she is loved and missed.

During the walks, of which I am up to 24kms as of today, I have been reflecting a lot on our family's cancer journey with both my parents’ experiences. Some of it has been painful and some healing and some just plain forgotten. Memories are funny things too because there are some things I try hard to remember and really feel I should but can’t, like dates, the order of events and medical details and then there are other things that stick in my mind so clearly, like how my mum’s hands looked and felt. The way they were smaller than mine, dainty but hardworking and, in places, a little calloused. I loved to hug her hand and hold it to my face as a child, and then again especially towards the end, when she lay resting in hospital. They smelt like roses and onion and garlic….a weird combination, I know, but to me a very comforting scent that was quintessentially who mum was; a very good cook and avid gardener.

When she was alive, I left those talents to her and wouldn’t much dabble in cooking because when you have such a widely appreciated talented cook in your family… it just doesn’t seem like you should bother, especially when one of her meals could suddenly land at your doorstep on any given day!

After mum died, it took me 4 years to muster up the courage to make her spring rolls and then even longer to make Sinigang and pancit. Now I find myself making her signature dishes naturally and really enjoy cooking myself. Not long ago Zoe hugged my hands to her face just like I did my own mother’s. I pulled them away and said “sorry Zoe, I’ve just been cutting up onions and garlic with dinner”. She quickly grabbed them back and brought them to her face taking in a deep breath and said “I love the smell of your hands, they remind me of flowers and your cooking”.

I looked down at my hands cupping Zoe’s face. They are becoming more wrinkled and with their own callouses… starting to look like my mum’s…..it filled my heart with absolute joy and I thanked God for such memories.

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The personal reason for my decision to do the walk

Friday 2nd Oct 11 years ago our family lost a wonderful woman to breast cancer; a mum, Lola and wife. She was only in her mid 60s. Our youngest, Zoe, has no memories of her because she'd just turned 1. Mum also did not know how beautiful Abi can sing or how brilliant a pianist Lij is, nor how proud she would be to watch her grandchildren grow in to who they are now. Share