Help me create a cancer free future!
Im hosting this fundraiser in memory and honour of my late father, Peter who passed 5 years ago due to metastatic cancer. And in support of all those struggling with and supporting someone who has cancer.
This evil disease doesn’t just affect the patient, but everyone they hold close.
Fear does not diminish easily. And sadness is a prominent aspect of mental health.
As it has been 5 years since I lost my father, I figured there would be no better way to celebrate his life than to host a girls night.
There are certain events that stick in our mind like super glue.
Events where you remember every fine detail of the lead up, and the during. Everything surrounding that event may be a blur, but the necessary details stay with you seemingly forever.
That’s September 16th, 2015 for me. Around 9:30-10pm.
I remember returning to the hospital to see my dad pale, and taking what were quite obviously his last breaths. I remember holding his hand, telling him that it was okay to let go, that I’d be okay, and that I loved him. I remember locking eyes with the night nurse as he called the time of death. I remember falling to the floor as if the ground was caving in beneath my feet, I remember calling my family, not saying anything and having my sobs and hyperventilating tell them exactly what they needed to know. I remember sitting by my dads side until 4am and having to leave before things started getting messy. I remember kissing his forehead, trying to ignore how cold he was, and saying goodbye. And I remember letting go of his hand for the last time.
After that night, the rest is a blur of spotty memories and recollections of what followed. But I can remember that night, down to the pale blue cargo shorts the bald male night nurse was wearing.
Still, 5 years on, this memory plays in my head, and while I hate the fact that I had to watch the only man I’ve ever been able to count on lose his life before my eyes, I know I will never regret being there for his final breaths, much like he was there for my first. To say I miss him would be an understatement. There are no words to express how it feels to have a father shaped void in your soul. A void that doesn’t close no matter how much time passes. I cannot use words to explain the pain within my soul, a constant aching that never truly dulls, you just get used to it being there.
My father was a warrior, a battler, a fighter. And so many times, he’d win, until another battle broke out inside his body, which made him fight again. And again. And again. Until eventually, the battle wounds got the best of him and he could not fight any longer.
Through his passing, I have gained his strength to fight my way through life. And each and every day I strive to make him proud.
I am now and forever his legacy. He may not have been infamous, he may not have made a worldwide impact, but he did make me. And that’s one hell of an accomplishment.
Thank you for your support it means the world to me
Thank you to my Supporters
Sisters Doll Band